So your child is able to write simple, grammatically correct sentences. However, it worries you that your child's written sentences are too simple and hampers his or her essay scores to move beyond a bare passing grade.
You would like to teach your child how to expand his or her written sentences but you do not know how to go about doing it.
This page teaches you how to expand sentences with regards to action and feelings.
You would like to teach your child how to expand his or her written sentences but you do not know how to go about doing it.
This page teaches you how to expand sentences with regards to action and feelings.
EXPANDING SENTENCES - DESCRIBING ACTION
The sentence structure of sentences involving actions
can be written in the following order:
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - one word / in a phrase]
+ [reason / why was the action done?]
In order to teach your child, you should create a list of common action words and expand it in sequence, as shown in the table below:
can be written in the following order:
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - one word / in a phrase]
+ [reason / why was the action done?]
In order to teach your child, you should create a list of common action words and expand it in sequence, as shown in the table below:
Action word |
(How) Describing the action word [Either or / Together] |
Why? (Changes according to student's essay plot) |
|
---|---|---|---|
One word | In a phrase | ||
ran | quickly | as if the hell hounds were chasing after him | The bullies were out to pound him to the ground. |
walked | slowly | without a nary care in the world | He had a lot of time to spare as his next lesson only starts in a couple of hours. |
talked | loudly | his voice reverberating (echoing) throughout the entire classroom | He was too excited about the trip and forgot to regulate his volume levels. |
cried | noisily | with tears flowing down his cheeks | Her brother snatched her toy from her. |
sang | melodiously | her lovely voice enchanting those around her | - |
drove | recklessly | like a demon behind wheels | He was late for his flight. |
smiled | brightly | with a grin that stretched to the corner of his eyes | He was overjoyed to see his cousins whom he had not seen for years. |
laughed | loudly | in a carefree manner | - |
stood | horrified | her mouth hanging off its hinges | The kitchen resembled a war zone, with dough and flour covering every inch of the kitchen. |
stared | unnervingly | with a piercing glare that could level mountains | His employee had asked him a such a ridiculous question that he felt that it was a waste of his time to reply. |
Perhaps your child writes in this manner -
"Jim ran quickly."
Essentially, your child is writing according to this structure.
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - one word]
1. He ran quickly.
Your child could be taught to expand his or her sentences by increasing the number of components in sequence.
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - a phrase]
2. He ran as if hell hounds were chasing after him.
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - one word] + [describe action - a phrase]
3. He ran quickly, as if hell hounds were chasing after him.
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - one word] + [describe action - a phrase] + [reason / why was the action done?]
4. He ran quickly, as if hell hounds were chasing after him. The bullies were out to pound him into the ground!
"Jim ran quickly."
Essentially, your child is writing according to this structure.
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - one word]
1. He ran quickly.
Your child could be taught to expand his or her sentences by increasing the number of components in sequence.
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - a phrase]
2. He ran as if hell hounds were chasing after him.
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - one word] + [describe action - a phrase]
3. He ran quickly, as if hell hounds were chasing after him.
[Person] + [action] + [describe action - one word] + [describe action - a phrase] + [reason / why was the action done?]
4. He ran quickly, as if hell hounds were chasing after him. The bullies were out to pound him into the ground!
You can even develop a list of the opposites
Action word |
(How) Describing the action word [Either or / Together] |
Why? (Changes according to student's essay plot) |
|
---|---|---|---|
One word | In a phrase | ||
ran | slowly | as if he was taking a slow and leisure jog | He wanted to relax and unwind at the Botanic Gardens. |
walked | quickly | her heels clicking loudly against the wooden floor | The meeting was about to commence in five minutes. |
talked | softly | speaking in measured tones | They were seated in an area where many other students were studying. |
cried | silently | cheeks glistening with tears / tears clinging onto her eyelashes | Her brother snatched her toy from her. |
sang | eerily | her hauntingly breathless tune sending the shivers down their spine | - |
drove | carefully | making sure to stay within the speed limit and signal when necessary | He was afraid of flouting the traffic rules. |
smiled | weakly | in a forlorn attempt to assure her friend that everything was alright | She was internally crumbling from the stress from her marriage. All she could muster was a weak smile to prevent that dam of emotions from breaking. |
laughed | lightly | chuckling softly behind dainty fingers | The scene of her pet kitten pouncing after each other was comical. |
stood | uneasily | fidgeting and playing with the helm of her skirt | She had been waiting outside the principal office for at least half an hour without knowing why she was being summoned. |
stared | motionless | standing as still as a statue | She was spacing in and out of reality. |
Or combine one action with another action
[Person] + [1st action] + [describe action - one word / in a phrase]
+ [2nd action] + [reason / why was the action done?]
Action word | One word | In a phrase | With another action | Why? (Changes according to the students' essay plot) |
---|---|---|---|---|
ran | recklessly | in circles around the field | with his arms outstretched | He was pretending to be a plane. |
talked | loudly | his voice revebrating (echoing) throughout the classroom | with no consideration to the people around him | He was ill-mannered. |
picked up the jewellery | gingerly | with all the care in the world | and brought it closer to his face | in order to inspect it in greater detail |
laughed | lightly | chuckling softly behind her dainty fingers | with the light of amusement dancing in her eyes | The scene of her pet kittens pouncing after each other was comical. |
So instead of writing -
"The cats pounced after each other. Kate laughed at her cats for being so silly."
Your child can be eventually trained to write like this:
"Kate laughed lightly, chuckling softly behind her dainty fingers with the light of amusement dancing in her eyes. The scene of her pet kittens pouncing after each other was comical."
EXPANDING SENTENCES - DESCRIBING FEELINGS
The sentence structure of sentences involving feelings
can be written in the following order:
[Person] + [Feelings] + [demonstrates using actions - engages with the environment / bodily reactions] + [Internal reaction] + [reason / why was the action done?]
can be written in the following order:
[Person] + [Feelings] + [demonstrates using actions - engages with the environment / bodily reactions] + [Internal reaction] + [reason / why was the action done?]
Feelings (One word) |
Demonstrates using actions (choose either option) | Internal reaction | Why? (changes according to the students' essay plot) |
|
---|---|---|---|---|
Engages with the environment | Bodily reactions | |||
happy/delighted | skipped | clapped her hands in childish delight | Sunbeams and rainbows warming her heart. | Her present gave her a huge present for her birthday. |
sad | huddled under a pile of blankets and sobbed loudly | Her body wrecked with barely suppressed sobs | Her heart was full of sorrow. | She broke up with her boyfriend of six years. |
angry | stomped into the room and gave a furious yell | held his fist in a crushing grip | Fire coursed through his veins. | He had a fall out with his friend. |
bored | started to toy with his stationery and rock his chair | stared listlessly into the distance | Mind phasing into a blank haze and dull hum. | It was a mind numbing lesson. The teacher kept droning on and on in a monotonous baritone. |
scared | he backed into the corner of the room in order to put much distance between him and the cupboard. | His body fraught with tension. | Fear gripped him like a vice. Adrenaline coursed through his veins. | There seemed to be something... lurking in the cupboards. |
[Person] + [Feelings]
1. He was angry.
Sometimes, the order of the sentence structure can be reshuffled a little.
[Person] + [demonstrates using actions - engages with the environment + [Internal reaction] + [demonstrates using actions - bodily reaction]
2. He stomped into the room and gave a furious yell. Fire coursed through his veins as he held his fist in a crushing grip.
Intensity of feelings
[ Level: Advanced ]
Competent writers would know the difference between the intensity of feelings. For instance, being 'angry' does not have the same intensity of being 'livid'. As such, parents could create a table the same feeling that increases in intensity. The resulting actions and reactions changes according to the intensity of that feeling.
The table below shows an example of the different intensity of the feeling 'anger'.
1. He was angry.
Sometimes, the order of the sentence structure can be reshuffled a little.
[Person] + [demonstrates using actions - engages with the environment + [Internal reaction] + [demonstrates using actions - bodily reaction]
2. He stomped into the room and gave a furious yell. Fire coursed through his veins as he held his fist in a crushing grip.
Intensity of feelings
[ Level: Advanced ]
Competent writers would know the difference between the intensity of feelings. For instance, being 'angry' does not have the same intensity of being 'livid'. As such, parents could create a table the same feeling that increases in intensity. The resulting actions and reactions changes according to the intensity of that feeling.
The table below shows an example of the different intensity of the feeling 'anger'.
Feelings (One word) |
Demonstrates using actions (choose either option) | Internal reaction | Why? (changes according to the students' essay plot) |
Intensity of feelings (scale) |
|
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Engages with the environment | Bodily reactions | ||||
irritated | sat heavily on the chair with an annoyed huff | drummed her fingers against her lap impatiently | A shard of irritation emerging in her heart. | Her friend had accused her of something she had not done. | mild |
angry | stomped into the room and gave a furious yell | held his fist in a crushing grip | Fire coursed through his veins. | He had a fall out with his friend. | moderate |
infuriated / livid | smashed his fist against the table top and flipped the chair over with a loud crash | Orbs (eyes) blazed with the flames of wrath. | Numbing rage writhing violently in his chest, lashing out like an enraged viper. | He was betrayed by his closest allies and maligned by baseless accusations. | intense |