My General Paper (GP) teacher viewed the art of writing an introduction to be a crucial skill. She would refuse to mark the rest of the essay should she discover an introduction that dissatisfies her. The entire class had to redo their introduction for weeks before my teacher was willing to mark the rest of the essay.
[ I could see why she wanted us to do so, but most of my classmates were unhappy and lodged a complaint to my form teacher - much to my embarrassment of my classmates’ lack of foresight. Thankfully, we still had her as a GP teacher and we went on to experience the most awesome/interesting class of my JC days.]
An introduction comprises of two – or three – parts:
2. Context Background information on the essay topic |
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1.,Thesis Statement Your stand (Your direct answer to the essay question) |
3.,Statement of intention (OPTIONAL) Summary of what you are going to write in the rest of your essay. |
The statement of intention may be omitted in the O and A levels. However, statements of intentions are used to demonstrate clarity of writing and it is seen as a hallmark of quality writing. It is compulsory for University students to include their statement of intention in their academic papers.
As a matter of hierarchical importance, the thesis statement is the most important component in the introduction, if not the entire essay.
Without a proper thesis, a student will fail his or her essay. Period.
If a student is able to pass his or her essay without including a proper thesis, it means that the teacher is far too lenient in grading the essay.
If a student omits the other two parts, the student would still be able to pass his/her essay.
Debate over the position of thesis statement
There are many different teaching methods -some interesting while others controversial. One of which that has perked my interest is the placement of the thesis statement (your stand). One camp of teachers teaches student to include their thesis statement in the introduction. The other camp of teachers are advocates of the thesis statement to be placed in the conclusion.
Personally, I am a firm believer of the thesis statement being in the introduction. In fact, my opinion is such that the lack of a thesis statement in an introduction warrants absolute failure. I hedge my standards against University academic writing standards – with the exception of certain majors in Universities - that demands the thesis statement to be placed in the introduction.
Personally, I find the context to be the most difficult part to write in the entire essay. It taxes an individual to provide just enough information of the general topic before tackling the essay question. Students, who are new towards exposition writing, do not know where and how to delineate the information. Just how much background information is needed to provide an essay background yet not go out of point? How is someone able to use the background information and lead it to their stand? It is very challenging!
I find that JC students are able to tackle this portion better than Secondary school students. JC students, unlike Secondary school students, have greater exposure to general knowledge discussion in their classes which translates to an ability to provide some background information for their introduction. Some secondary school students just omit this part completely, resulting in an immensely short introduction.
In cases like this, I usually write the thesis statement first before working backwards to write the context.
STEP 1: Writing the thesis statement (your stand)
2. Context Background information on the essay topic |
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1.,Thesis Statement Your stand (Your direct answer to the essay question) |
3.,Statement of intention (OPTIONAL) Summary of what you are going to write in the rest of your essay. |
**Thesis statement = Just answer the essay question directly (your stand).
[I don’t know why some school teachers make it so difficult to understand what a thesis statement is. If the student gets confused with the jargon, they should just remember it as “my stand” or “whatever that directly answers the essay question”.]
Level: Basic (For introductions only)
Example
Expository question: What important lessons in life are learnt away from school?
Thesis statement: The lessons of being street smart, appreciative of family and discerning right from wrong are important lessons that have to be learnt away from school.
(Source: O level paper, 2010 ; Present Perfect 2012, Issue 5 & 6, p. 7-8)
Expository question: People all over the world are living longer. What are the advantages and disadvantages of their
increased life expectancy?
(Source: O level paper, 2012)
Thesis statement: The advantages of increased life expectancy are increased chances of for individuals to pursue their passions and more opportunities for greater
achievements, while the disadvantages are the increased cost of healthcare and the tax burden borne by working adults due to a growing population of the elderly.
(The thesis statements for argumentative and discursive essays are trickier and will be covered under the “Argumentative/Discursive essay” section.)
*TIP: Use the words in the essay question to ensure that you won’t go out of point.
Point of contention
A question that you may ask, “My teacher tells me not to reuse the words in the essay question when I write my essay question. Also, she does not want me to write words like “I” in my essay as she says that it is informal and I should not write in first person.
I have received word that teachers (1) frown upon subjectivity in a bid to enforce objectivity, and (2) disallow students to use the words from the question and encourage students to substitute such words with synonyms (words of the same meaning) in order to demonstrate vocabulary prowess.
Example
Question: “Do you agree that people should take greater interest in current affairs?”
You can’t say “I agree that people should take greater interest in current affairs.” or “In my opinion, people should take greater interest in current affairs.”
You must say “Given the increasing connectivity of the world, a greater interest in current affairs is paramount in comprehending the influx of information from around the globe.”
Indeed, objective writing and accurate word substitution demonstrates competent writing standards. However, if you are very unstable in your writing abilities, it is not advisable to just blindly obey whatever your teachers say. It is the equivalent of asking a baby to run before he or she can even walk.
If you are someone who is not passing/just barely passing your essay, paying attention to objective writing and word substitution will result in greater stress in producing that thesis statement, causing you to commit even more errors. For instance, you may substitute it with a word that may not have the same meaning as intended and in the end change the meaning of the entire sentence.
You have to achieve the basic standards of being able to construct a thesis statement first. Only when you are well-accustomed to writing them will you be able to undertake objective writing and word substitution.
*I will write about the intermediate and advanced levels of thesis statements in future posts.
2. Context Background information on the essay topic |
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1.,Thesis Statement Your stand (Your direct answer to the essay question) |
3.,Statement of intention (OPTIONAL) Summary of what you are going to write in the rest of your essay. |
Level: Basic (For introductions only)
The context comprises of two sub-components:
Opening sentence |
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Main portion of the context |
a) Opening sentence
In order to tackle the opening sentence, you have to understand that there are two types of expository essay questions:
1) General topic statement included
e.g.“People all over the world are living longer. What are the advantages and disadvantages of their increased life expectancy?”
For questions with the general topic statement, you just need to copy the general topic statement into your opening statement.
2) No general topic statement
e.g. “What important life lessons can be learnt away from school?”
For questions without a general topic statement, you have to create a general topic statement and use it as your opening statement. For instance, the general topic statement that you can garner from the above question would be “Important life lessons can be learnt away from school?”
For this section, you have to rely on your 5W and 1 H strategy (Who, Why, Where, When, What, How). Using this strategy, you should brainstorm as many questions and answer them to the best of your abilities.
Example
Question: What important lessons in life are learnt away from school?
STEP 1: Brainstorming process [Note: I am mimicking a student who does not have extensive vocabulary, general knowledge nor the know-how to elaborate their points.]
- Who are the people who learn important life lessons away from school? Students [This is self-explanatory.]
- Why do the students have to learn life lessons away from school? Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches us how to study. Learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough to build character in a person.
- Where can these important life lessons be learnt away from school? Anywhere.
- When are important life lessons learnt away from school? [This is self-explanatory.]
- What important life lessons are learnt away from school? [This is the essay question.]
- How are important life lessons learnt away from school?
When you can’t brainstorm about any other questions, you should always fall back to the definition-based approach – just define all the key terms in the question.
7. What is the definition of “life lessons?"
Life lessons are important life experiences that build a person’s character.
[The definition approach seeks to define and delimit the loaded words in the questions in the context section. It is the safest, and arguably, the most risk-free way of writing your introduction It is also the style of many academic papers on the tertiary level. But a pure reliance on this approach ensures that your introduction is dry and boring. But you can’t be faulted for the technicals. So yes, it is dull, overused, but definitely accepted.]
The list of brainstorming questions goes on. It depends on how much you can generate. Students who are aiming to achieve the basic level are usually able to generate the aforementioned questions only as they are more direct as do not require much thinking.
2. Why do the students have to learn life lessons away from school? Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches us how to study. Learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough to build character in a person.
7. What is the definition of “life lessons”? Life lessons are important life experiences that build a person’s character.
STEP 3: Insert all remaining answers into the main portion of the context.
Opening sentence Important life lessons are learnt away from school. |
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Main portion of the context Life lessons are important life experiences that build a person’s character. Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches us how to study. Learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough to build character in a person. |
Thesis Statement The lessons of being street smart, appreciative of family and learning to figure out right from wrong are important lessons that have to be learnt away from school. |
This introduction is minimalist, very basic and simple. However, it allows the student to pass – albeit barely. That being said, a lot of struggling exposition writers fail to even reach the basic level.
Remarks
Frankly speaking, I don’t like this method of writing the context. However, over the course of teaching many students, I realised that the recommended ways do not resonate with struggling writers. There is really no point by telling them to start with examples or general topical information due to the simple fact that they simply don’t read enough (or at all).
As a result, they have nothing to provide as background context – no examples, no topic information, nothing - to allow the reader to have a greater understanding of the topic. In addition, they were very much prefer a consistent method of producing content that allows them to pass before they work on improving their writing.
The inability to write a proper context is a more prevalent problem among the Secondary school students rather than the JC kids. For one, the JC students are exposed to GP content on a regular basis in their usual classes.
As such, even the most reluctant of JC students - I hope- has some level of information to address one of the twelve essay questions during their A levels. On the other hand, some Secondary school kids may not have that kind of content rigor in school and may shun non-fiction writing to be some sort of infectious disease and propel toward narrative writing instead. The great thing is that to date, the O level non-fiction essay writing questions comprise of at least one question that is based in Singapore context and it is easily relatable to the students.
There are two ways to bump the level of your context into the average range.
1) Improving the quality of language (vocabulary, sentence structure etc)
Example
Previously
Life lessons are important life experiences that build a person’s character. Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches students how to study. Learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough to build character in a person. The lessons of being street smart, appreciative of family and learning to figure out right from wrong are important lessons that have to be learnt away from school.
Revamped
Life lessons are important life experiences that build a person’s character. Students have to learn life lessons away from school because schools focus primarily on academics, which is inadequate in building a person’s character. The lessons of being street smart, appreciative of family and discerning between right from wrong are important lessons that have to be learnt away from school.
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Yes, it is the dreaded vocabulary. The bane of many students’ lives. The lack of proper vocabulary acquisition and application stunts any possibility of alleviating the introduction from the basic to the intermediate level.
Fortunately for them, there is list of synonyms are that are commonly used in academic writing. Just take the above example for instance.
Mostly = primarily / largely
Studies in school = academics
Not enough = inadequate
Figure out = differentiate / discern
Unfortunately for them, teachers often expect them to read enough academic articles in order to slowly amass increasing amount of synonyms in their vocabulary bank.
The issue of vocabulary prowess is important as it has a huge impact on the quality of expression and argument. When I say “huge”, I mean an absolutely crucial factor – among the many other factors – in determining if an essay could be raised to the higher end of an intermediate level. It definitely warrants a post on its own… when I have enough time to get down to writing it.
In other words, you provide more detail and do not make it so generic, and it entails a bit more knowledge about the topic that surfaces via general reading. The problem with many students is figuring out how to elaborate and expand their sentences.
This is a problem that, like every other problem, warrants a post on its own. Again, it depends on the amount of time I have on my hands.
The 5Ws & 1H (again) and “So what? –
also known as the higher level 5Ws & 1H
I can totally hear students bemoaning, “What? It’s that 5W and 1H strategy again? I have learnt that for the past 3678 times! It’s useless!”
It is useless to such students because they did not internalise it properly before they threw in the towel. This method is simple to learn, difficult to master but utterly devastating in the effects of essay writing – in a good way, of course.
This issue is so crucial to the point where it does not warrant a mere post on it. It demands me to write an entire thesis on it. (Me and my fantasies.) I will just give you an idea on how elaboration via “5Ws & 1H” and “So what” works. The detailed explanation and instruction will surface in another post.
- “So what if I do so? Why is it important for me to do so? “
- “So what? That is still not important enough? Why is it ultimately important for me to do so?”
- “How can I do so?”
And other “why” and “how” questions.
Let’s bring into focus a previous example. Recall the main portion of the context (before vocabulary improvements) for the essay question “What life lessons should be learnt away from school?”
Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches students how to study. Learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough to build character in a person.
There was an attempt at elaboration with this (please refer to the bolded words)
Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches students how to study. (So what if I just stay in school to learn? Why is it important for students to learn life lessons away from school?) Learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough to build character in a person.
However, this degree of questioning is not enough and does not fully elaborate the sentences. As such, the student has to question further.
[Note: I am mimicking a student who does not have extensive vocabulary nor maturity of thought.]
QUESTIONING AND ELABORATING (EXAMPLE) | |
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Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches students how to study. |
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1st question | Why are schools unable to teach other life lessons? |
1st answer | Teachers try to teach other life lessons. However, even though they try to, they have to focus mainly on school work and exams because teachers are expected to teach students and focus on allowing them to achieve good grades. |
2nd question | Who expects the teachers to teach students and ensure that they achieve good grades? |
2nd answer | …the parents expect teachers to teach students how to ace their exams… |
3rd question | Why is it a problem for students to primarily focus on their studies and nothing else? |
3rd answer | They do not provide students with an all-rounded life experience to build character. |
Learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough to build character in a person. | |
4th question | Why is character building so important? |
4th answer | Character building is important because it provides us with principles and values. |
Question to allow the student to provide a complete answer to the 4th question |
So what? That doesn’t fully explain why character building is important. (That’s just defining what character building is all about.) Why are these traits so important? |
Corresponding answer | Principles and values are important because it allows students to be a responsible person who is mature adult when we grow up. |
So what you have for the introduction (opening sentence, main portion of the context and the thesis statement) will be something like this:
Important life lessons are learnt away from school. Life lessons are life experiences that build a person’s character. Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches students how to study. Teachers try to teach other life lessons. However, even though they try to teach life lessons, they have to mainly focus on school work and exams because teachers are expected to teach students and focus on allowing them to achieve good grades. Teachers have little time and focus to teach the students other life lessons. In my opinion, learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough as it does not provide students with an all-rounded life experience to build character in a person. Character building is important because it shapes students' principles and values that allow students to be a responsible and mature adult when they grow up. As such, the lessons of being street smart, appreciative of family and figuring out between right and wrong are important lessons that have to be learnt away from school. |
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Now, we increase the level of vocabulary and iron out the sentence structure:
Important life lessons are learnt away from school.,Students have to venture beyond the classrooms to learn life lessons because schools focus primarily on academics, which is inadequate in building a person’s character. Ideally, educators are supposed to impart life lessons to students. However, the academic emphasis by society has resulted in educators placing an overwhelming focus on academic instruction, with little time to impart other life lessons. An over-emphasis on academics prevents students from acquiring a holistic range of formative life experiences that are essential in building character in order to become a mature and functioning individual in society. As such, the lessons of being street smart, appreciative of family and discerning between right from wrong are important lessons that have to be learnt away from school. |
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Notice the stark difference between the above paragraph with what the basic level offered initially:
Important life lessons are learnt away from school. Life lessons are important life experiences that build a person’s character. Students have to learn life lessons away from school because the school mostly teaches us how to study. Learning how to study and tackle exams is not enough to build character in a person. The lessons of being street smart, appreciative of family and learning to figure out right from wrong are important lessons that have to be learnt away from school. |
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Remarks
It is extremely difficult for struggling writers to even formulate such questions for elaboration. Of course, some students would insist that they are able to formulate questions after much prompting. What the teachers want you to do is to develop these 5Ws & 1 H thought processes and subsequent answers automatically within minutes, without much effort and prompting. The epitome is reached when students engage in such thought processes unconsciously and it propels them to engage in higher level analysis (like observing the nature of problems, for instance).
Developing this skill require time and a lot of effort. I took at least one year to develop it automatically. I was in JC then. Initially, I kept questioning myself after every sentence - yes, every sentence – in my essay and forced myself to elaborate every phrase that I wrote. I developed automaticity after a year and became competent in this skill after another year.
Extra note
Usually among websites dispensing tips on how to start an introduction, they would suggest certain approaches as stated below:
- Quoting famous individuals
- Provide examples or case studies
- Establish the importance of the topic
- Highlight a problem or a controversial issue
- Insert a thought-provoking question
- Personally comment about the topic
These are fine and dandy if students get their basics right. They are like the icing to the cake. If struggling writers do not develop the skills that I was mentioning earlier however, jumping straight into the suggested approaches will not solve much of their essay writing woes. In fact, it will probably befuddle them further.
IMPORTANT NOTE
Of the two components, elaboration of your ideas is more important and you should seek to master it first.
- Competent in elaboration = Lower end of the intermediate level
- Competent in both elaboration and vocabulary = High end of the intermediate level (you may even obtain a low ‘A’ grade)
The jump from basic to intermediate level is immense. Then, what kind of insane requirements does the advanced level require?