This article benefits primary school students who simply do not know what to write in their essays, resulting in a struggle to meet the minimum word count.
It might make sense if a child who is not really articulate to struggle with expressing themselves on paper. But it seems like a huge mystery when an articulate child who loves to read story books is unable to write an essay.
Regardless of the levels of articulateness, such children may exhibit similar characteristics. Upon writing a sentence in their essays, they might give you that blank look of “Now what?”
Left to their own devices, their essays might be extraordinarily short, of which they would state the bare facts of a scene or an event that is void of reader engagement that usually comes in a typical story. With effort, the student may complete his or her story in less than a hundred words.
Example of an extraordinarily short story
Topic: An incident
Topic: An incident
It was a Monday afternoon. Jane went to meet her friend, Mary. They went to the cat café to play with cats. When they were playing with cats, one cat scratched Jane’s hand. Jane cried because it was a deep wound and it bled. Mary went to tell the cafe owner. The cafe owner bandaged Jane’s hand and said sorry to her. Jane and Mary left the shop. Jane became scared of cats after her visit to the cat cafe.
Upon reading such an essay, a parent may jam his or her internal panic button – especially when the student is no longer in P1 or P2 anymore. Said parent’s panic levels may soar when it becomes apparent that providing his or her child with essay prompts is ineffective as the child may develop a reliance on others for prompts instead of developing a skill of self-prompting. The “tried-and-tested method” of getting them to read more story books or model essays does not seem to be effective as well…
CHARACTERISTICS OF SUCH STUDENTS
Generally, such students fall into 3 categories:
- Lower primary students who simply lack the exposure of writing a story. At times, parents may assume that all is well for their child’s essays as writing a short story – literally – may be grudgingly acceptable in P1 and P2. The onset of P3 writing demands abruptly exposes the cracks in the child’s writing competency, leaving some parents feeling as if the rug has been pulled under their feet.
- Factual students who do not like to write narrative - fiction - stories due to the inability to understand how the fiction narrative fits into their understanding of a factual world. It is highly possible that such children will struggle with the PSLE fiction writing requirements, only for their essay writing woes to be largely resolved in Secondary school when non-fiction writing (expository and argumentative) becomes a norm in the Express stream. [Should a child enter the Normal Academic stream however, 3 out of 4 essay question options at the N levels are still narrative in nature.]
- HOWEVER, should a child struggles with both fiction and non-fiction writing regardless of his first or second language (i.e. struggles with both English and Chinese/Malay/Tamil/etc), there is a high possibility that the child has some form of special learning needs in the form of expressive language difficulty.
[ If the child , who has the ideas and is able to produce a substantial word count for the essay, expresses his or her thoughts in a … weird or atypical fashion (e.g. mistakes in the sentence structure or vocabulary that are not typically Singlish; the inability to stick to one idea throughout the essay, abrupt changing of scenes), there is a possibility that the child has another form of expressive language difficulty. It is however, not within the scope of this article to discuss about it.]
Regardless of the categories that they fall under, these students have one main thing in common – the desire for a fixed and consistent essay structure that does not change with every different essay topic. Let it be known that such students – especially beginning writers – do not appreciate when their teacher proclaim that writing is an art and expects every essay to have something interesting or different. All they want is for the elements to stay the same, where they can take time to keep writing the same type of sentences or phrases taught until they achieve competency in that same thing. Only then will they develop the confidence to explore other ways of writing.
Do take note that for students who are unable to generate enough content on words, the main objective is to pass - not to score. Tutors/Teachers/Parents must develop a method to ensure that the student is able to generate more sentences on their own, with the quality of the content taking a backseat. Basically, the initial focus should be on quantity, not quality. If you have read the article entitled “ Areas of focus in narrative writing instruction“, you will realise that the that the structure of the house is either incomplete or non-existent. The top priority is to ensure that enough building material- words and sentences - is provided to complete the structure of the house. Thereafter, the focus will be directed at the technical accuracy of sentence construction - accurate grammar, spelling and sentence structure – in order to ensure the greater possibility of passing.
However, efforts dedicated to the notion of aiming to pass may be constantly challenged by school teachers, who may comment that the student should aim to score and not write such “elementary sentences” for the teachers expect originality and creativity that is befitting of an upper primary student. Should struggling students bow to pressure and abandon the notion of passing in favour of scoring, it is highly likely that the student will be left in the limbo.
A person learns to walk before learning to run – well, most of the time. When a person who does not know how to walk is forced to run, the person will be highly frustrated, to say the least.
Do take note that for students who are unable to generate enough content on words, the main objective is to pass - not to score. Tutors/Teachers/Parents must develop a method to ensure that the student is able to generate more sentences on their own, with the quality of the content taking a backseat. Basically, the initial focus should be on quantity, not quality. If you have read the article entitled “ Areas of focus in narrative writing instruction“, you will realise that the that the structure of the house is either incomplete or non-existent. The top priority is to ensure that enough building material- words and sentences - is provided to complete the structure of the house. Thereafter, the focus will be directed at the technical accuracy of sentence construction - accurate grammar, spelling and sentence structure – in order to ensure the greater possibility of passing.
However, efforts dedicated to the notion of aiming to pass may be constantly challenged by school teachers, who may comment that the student should aim to score and not write such “elementary sentences” for the teachers expect originality and creativity that is befitting of an upper primary student. Should struggling students bow to pressure and abandon the notion of passing in favour of scoring, it is highly likely that the student will be left in the limbo.
A person learns to walk before learning to run – well, most of the time. When a person who does not know how to walk is forced to run, the person will be highly frustrated, to say the least.
THE VAGUENESS OF A STORY MOUNTAIN TEMPLATE
Parents may ask, “Isn’t the story mountain template a structure in itself?”
The story mountain template is one of the most commonly utilised narrative essay planning templates for students. It usually resembles a visually fancier version of the picture below:
The story mountain template is one of the most commonly utilised narrative essay planning templates for students. It usually resembles a visually fancier version of the picture below:
The introduction to the story mountain template unfolds as such:
“First you introduce your character in the story. Then, something bad happens and it becomes the problem. After that, you solve the problem and end the story.”
The issue with the story mountain is that it is still too vague for struggling writers. They require more detailed explanation of each component of the story mountain.
Let’s imagine that you have never known how to bake nor heard of the concept of baking in your life. One day, you are asked to bake and the instructions given to you are as follows:
“First, you pour the ingredients together. After that, you mix them. Pour the mixture in the baking tray. Then, bake it in the oven.”
“Um…” you reply intelligently. “What are the ingredients? How long must I mix them? At what temperature and for how long should I bake it?”
“Just pour, mix, pour and bake. Simple.”
You look at your instructor as if she grew another head before muttering, “I don’t think I really know how to bake…”
“Baking is an art form. You will get it with much practice. Your classmates can do it, so can you!”
“…”
“Oh, you are baking a pie by the way.”
“I thought we are baking cakes? I thought we did that last week? And that cake of mine turned out to be a disaster!” you said, looking really, really helpless.
“We have to constantly learn new recipes! There are some difference between baking a cake and a pie, but I am sure you will get it with time.”
“Could I bake something easier? Could I just stick to that cake that I couldn’t bake last week?”
“Nonsense!” your instructor exclaimed dramatically. “The best of bakers are able to bake anything! You should strive to follow their footsteps!”
Many failed attempts later…
“You know what?” the instructor said as she looks at your failed pie disapprovingly before regarding you as an alien species outside her universe. “I have no idea why you can’t do this well enough. I think you need to engage a baking tutor.”
“Um…” you reply intelligently. “What are the ingredients? How long must I mix them? At what temperature and for how long should I bake it?”
“Just pour, mix, pour and bake. Simple.”
You look at your instructor as if she grew another head before muttering, “I don’t think I really know how to bake…”
“Baking is an art form. You will get it with much practice. Your classmates can do it, so can you!”
“…”
“Oh, you are baking a pie by the way.”
“I thought we are baking cakes? I thought we did that last week? And that cake of mine turned out to be a disaster!” you said, looking really, really helpless.
“We have to constantly learn new recipes! There are some difference between baking a cake and a pie, but I am sure you will get it with time.”
“Could I bake something easier? Could I just stick to that cake that I couldn’t bake last week?”
“Nonsense!” your instructor exclaimed dramatically. “The best of bakers are able to bake anything! You should strive to follow their footsteps!”
Many failed attempts later…
“You know what?” the instructor said as she looks at your failed pie disapprovingly before regarding you as an alien species outside her universe. “I have no idea why you can’t do this well enough. I think you need to engage a baking tutor.”
So… I got carried away with my baking analogy, but I believe you can draw parallels between this analogy and the students who are struggling to write.
EXPLORING A SOLUTION
As an emergency measure, what parents have to do is fixed a certain structure in each paragraph, of which your child will include the elements that you have decided into every essay.
The elements each structure are merely suggestions. You can change it to anything that you like so long as it is able to be generalised across all essays regardless of essay topics. You must strive to achieve elements that are as generalised as possible.
In the case study below, I make the assumption that I am planning a structure of essay elements for a primary 2 student. I have decided that all essays will require the character has to start from his or her house before walking towards his or her destination.
The elements each structure are merely suggestions. You can change it to anything that you like so long as it is able to be generalised across all essays regardless of essay topics. You must strive to achieve elements that are as generalised as possible.
In the case study below, I make the assumption that I am planning a structure of essay elements for a primary 2 student. I have decided that all essays will require the character has to start from his or her house before walking towards his or her destination.
In this example, I have decided that all introductions should include the following sequence of elements:
Weather
In addition, I enforced a few more rules:
- What was the character doing at home?
- Destination that the character has in mind
- Travelling + Scenery
In addition, I enforced a few more rules:
- Write at least 2 sentences per element
- Do not use dialogues
- Everything should be written in past tense
Bearing the topic of “An incident” in mind again, the P2 student may ideally write something like this:
It was a sunny day. The birds were flying in the blue sky. Jane was playing with her dolls at home. She was playing happily. She wanted to go the cat cafe with Mary. It was Mary’s birthday. She went out of the house and walked to the cat café. On her way, she saw dogs and cats running about.
However, reality is such that the P2 student – like many other struggling writers – has grammar and sentence structure issues.
It is a sunny day. The bird are flying in the blue sky. Jane play with her dolls at home. And she is playing happily. Suddenly / Then she want to go the cat cafe with Mary. It is Mary birthday. So she go out (of where?). Then she walk to the cat café. Then she see dogs and cat run about.
For additional practice to ensure that the P2 student is familiar with the elements in the introduction, all future practices for shall involve the P2 student attempting the introduction ONLY until the student demonstrates independence and competence in introduction writing. This practice should be applied to every paragraph if possible.
Point of contention
School teachers may discourage students to include phrases on the weather, and start off with sound effects, a flashback or some other dramatic opening instead. However, struggling writers would like to ensure that the vocabulary or phrases that they have learnt with much effort to stay constant. Using flashbacks, sound effects or some dramatic opening requires the student to have a set of vocabulary that frequently changes according to the topic.
It is essentially an expectation for more advanced writers – a competency that struggling writers have yet to develop until they develop their foundation. Teachers claim the weather element to be boring and repetitive, but it is precisely because the weather element is repetitive that it is able to be generalised across all essay topics – and struggling writers love that as they need a fixed structure. (Indeed, the weather element is the least desired if the objective is to score.)
The PSLE marking board will not fail boring essays. Instead, they will fail essays with flawed technicals (e.g. copious amounts of grammar and sentence structure mistakes, low word count etc.)
School teachers may discourage students to include phrases on the weather, and start off with sound effects, a flashback or some other dramatic opening instead. However, struggling writers would like to ensure that the vocabulary or phrases that they have learnt with much effort to stay constant. Using flashbacks, sound effects or some dramatic opening requires the student to have a set of vocabulary that frequently changes according to the topic.
It is essentially an expectation for more advanced writers – a competency that struggling writers have yet to develop until they develop their foundation. Teachers claim the weather element to be boring and repetitive, but it is precisely because the weather element is repetitive that it is able to be generalised across all essay topics – and struggling writers love that as they need a fixed structure. (Indeed, the weather element is the least desired if the objective is to score.)
The PSLE marking board will not fail boring essays. Instead, they will fail essays with flawed technicals (e.g. copious amounts of grammar and sentence structure mistakes, low word count etc.)
I have decided that all second paragraphs should include the following sequence of elements:
- Description of the place
- Actions / Activities that the character was engaged with at the place
- Introduction of a small problem + What did the character feel and do?
- The problem worsens + What did the character do?
Bearing in mind the 2 sentences per element rule, the P2 student may ideally write something like this:
Jane met Mary at the cat cafe. There were a lot of cats running about. Jane picked up a white cat and started playing with it. Mary chased after a brown cat. The white cat had sharp claws. Jane was a little scared of the sharp claws but she continued playing with the white cat. Jane kept tossing the cat into the air. The white cat was angry and scratched Jane.
Realistically, the second paragraph may look like this:
Jane meet Mary at the cat cafe. There are alot of cats running about. So Jane pick up a white cat and start playing. And Mary chase a brown cat. Jane is scare of the sharp claw. But she continue playing with the white cat. The white cat is angry. Then the cat scratch Jane.
The third – and final – paragraph consists of the following elements:
Note: It is acceptable if a lower primary student writes a three-paragraph essay.
Note: It is acceptable if a lower primary student writes a three-paragraph essay.
- The problem explodes + What did the character do? / How did the character feel?
- Who saved the day? What did he / she do?
- How did the character feel?
- What happened after the problem has been solved? / What did the character do?
Bearing in mind the 2 sentences per element rule, the P2 student may ideally write something like this:
Jane screamed in pain. Blood flowed out of her wound. Mary ran to get the café owner. The café owner got the cat away from Jane. She ran to get the first aid kit and bandaged Jane’s hand. Jane felt sad that the cat had scratched her. The café owner said sorry to Jane. Mary helped Jane out of the café. Jane told herself that she would never go to cat cafes ever again.
Realistically, the third paragraph may look like this:
Jane scream. There is alot of blood. So Mary run to get the owner. Then the owner get the cat away from Jane. And she run to get the first aid kit and bandage Jane hand. Jane is sad that the cat has scratch her. The café owner say sorry to Jane. And Mary help Jane out of the café. Then Jane say that she won’t go to cat cafes ever again.
Bringing it altogether
When I compile all three parts of the P2 student’s work together, it will look like this:
When I compile all three parts of the P2 student’s work together, it will look like this:
It was a sunny day. The birds were flying in the blue sky. Jane was playing with her dolls at home. She was playing happily. She wanted to go the cat cafe with Mary. It was Mary’s birthday. She went out of the house and walked to the cat café. On her way, she saw dogs and cats running about.
Jane met Mary at the cat cafe. There were a lot of cats running about. Jane picked up a white cat and started playing with it. Mary chased after a brown cat. The white cat had sharp claws. Jane was a little scared of the sharp claws but she continued playing with the white cat. Jane kept tossing the cat into the air. The white cat was angry and scratched Jane.
Jane screamed in pain. Blood flowed out of her wound. Mary ran to get the café owner. The café owner got the cat away from Jane. She ran to get the first aid kit and bandaged Jane’s hand. Jane felt sad that the cat had scratched her. The café owner said sorry to Jane. Mary helped Jane out of the café. Jane told herself that she would never go to cat cafes ever again.
(205 words)
Jane met Mary at the cat cafe. There were a lot of cats running about. Jane picked up a white cat and started playing with it. Mary chased after a brown cat. The white cat had sharp claws. Jane was a little scared of the sharp claws but she continued playing with the white cat. Jane kept tossing the cat into the air. The white cat was angry and scratched Jane.
Jane screamed in pain. Blood flowed out of her wound. Mary ran to get the café owner. The café owner got the cat away from Jane. She ran to get the first aid kit and bandaged Jane’s hand. Jane felt sad that the cat had scratched her. The café owner said sorry to Jane. Mary helped Jane out of the café. Jane told herself that she would never go to cat cafes ever again.
(205 words)
While the sentences are relatively simple, it is a major step up as compared to the initial attempt by the student (as seen below):
It was a Monday afternoon. Jane went to meet her friend, Mary. They went to the cat café to play with cats. When they were playing with cats, one cat scratched Jane’s hand. Jane cried because it was a deep wound and it bled. Mary went to tell the storeowner. The storeowner bandaged Jane’s hand and said sorry to her. Jane and Mary left the shop. Jane became scared of cats after her visit to the cat cafe.
(78 words)
(78 words)
Of course, a glance past the realistic P2 writing would tell you that the rectification of grammar issues take precedence.
It is a sunny day. The bird are flying in the blue sky. Jane play with her dolls at home. And she is playing happily. Suddenly / Then she want to go the cat cafe with Mary. It is Mary birthday. So she go out (of where?). Then she walk to the cat café. Then she see dogs and cat run about.
Jane meet Mary at the cat cafe. There are alot of cats running about. So Jane pick up a white cat and start playing. And Mary chase a brown cat. Jane is scare of the sharp claw. But she continue playing with the white cat. The white cat is angry. Then the cat scratch Jane.
Jane scream. There is alot of blood. So Mary run to get the owner. Then the owner get the cat away from Jane. And she run to get the first aid kit and bandage Jane hand. Jane is sad that the cat has scratch her. The café owner say sorry to Jane. And Mary help Jane out of the café. Then Jane say that she won’t go to cat cafes ever again.
Jane meet Mary at the cat cafe. There are alot of cats running about. So Jane pick up a white cat and start playing. And Mary chase a brown cat. Jane is scare of the sharp claw. But she continue playing with the white cat. The white cat is angry. Then the cat scratch Jane.
Jane scream. There is alot of blood. So Mary run to get the owner. Then the owner get the cat away from Jane. And she run to get the first aid kit and bandage Jane hand. Jane is sad that the cat has scratch her. The café owner say sorry to Jane. And Mary help Jane out of the café. Then Jane say that she won’t go to cat cafes ever again.
When the student is finally able to produce and ensure largely accurate grammar and sentence structure, you can start introducing higher level vocabulary within each element with the objective of getting a slightly better score.
For instance, parents can teach the student “better-sounding” phrases for weather.
For instance, parents can teach the student “better-sounding” phrases for weather.
Simple
It was a sunny day. The birds were flying in the blue sky.
Revised
The sun peeked through the clouds. The land was bathed in a golden hue.
It was a sunny day. The birds were flying in the blue sky.
Revised
The sun peeked through the clouds. The land was bathed in a golden hue.
This way, parents can enhance their children’s essay without causing any major confusion among them. The structure of essay elements still remains - you are just enhancing the components of the elements.
The day when the student gets bored of writing the same structure over and over again and requests for a different way of writing is the day that parents should rejoice as students are finally looking to explore different aspects of writing. They may not wish to use clichés like weather phrases or start from the home setting, opting instead to include flashbacks or include more interesting elements of writing.
The day when the student gets bored of writing the same structure over and over again and requests for a different way of writing is the day that parents should rejoice as students are finally looking to explore different aspects of writing. They may not wish to use clichés like weather phrases or start from the home setting, opting instead to include flashbacks or include more interesting elements of writing.